When your relationship with your spouse is no longer working, you might feel tempted to stay with him or her for your children’s sake. You want what is best for your child and conventional wisdom says that a household with two parents is the best arrangement for a child because of the financial security and close relationships that a nuclear family offers. What this bit of “conventional wisdom” does not address is the psychological damage a child may suffer as a result of the daily fighting and resentment between his or her parents. If this is your reality, it might be in your child’s best interest that you consider divorce. Talk to your partner about ending your marriage. The end of your marriage does not mean the end of your family – it simply means the end of an unhealthy marriage and an opportunity for you to continue your life separate from your current partner.
Do not allow yourself to be made to feel guilty about the possibility divorcing your spouse. Sometimes, divorce is the healthiest option for parents. When determining whether a divorce is in your family’s best interest, consider the following:
When You Cannot Resolve Conflicts Effectively
Conflict resolution is a key part of any healthy relationship. When you and your partner have a disagreement, whether it is about your child or not, do you reach a mutually satisfying solution or does the conflict drag on, becoming a series of subtle strikes against each other and long-held grudges? An inability to resolve conflicts can be a sign that your marriage is effectively over.
A Lack of Respect for Your Partner
If you cannot respect your partner, you cannot effectively parent alongside him or her. The reverse is also true – you should not be expected to endure a relationship where your partner does not respect you.
A lack of respect can come from an infidelity, episodes of domestic violence, or simply from character differences that might not have been as apparent before you married. You might find that having children changed your partner’s personality to the point that you can no longer connect with him or her or support his or her decisions.
No Interest in the Relationship or Family
If you constantly find yourself or your partner looking outside the marriage for emotional fulfillment, a divorce may be the best option. This is especially true if you and your partner have tried to work your problems out through marital or family therapy and still find yourselves completely uninterested in each other and in making positive changes in your family life. Although you might try to hide your marital dissatisfaction from your child, it is very likely that he or she is aware of it.
Kane County Divorce Attorneys
If you are ready to end your marriage, contact an experienced family law attorney in Kane County to schedule a free consultation. We will discuss the divorce process, your rights and legal options throughout it, and how any unique circumstances present in your case may affect your divorce. With our help, you will be equipped to make the best decisions for your future and that of your child.