The phrase “painful divorce” may be a bit redundant, as every divorce is painful in at least some regard. Two people who thought they would spend the rest of their lives together are ending their relationship. According to the Holmes-Rahe Stress Inventory, divorce is the second most stressful life event a person can experience. Only the death of a spouse or child is more stressful. Some divorces proceed relatively smoothly, with both individuals remaining cooperative and compassionate. Other times, revenge and spite can rear their ugly heads, and a divorce becomes emotionally exhausting.
Know Your Feelings Are Valid
Mental health experts have some suggestions for coping in the midst of a difficult divorce. First, remember that it is acceptable to feel exactly how you do about the divorce. Some people cry, and some do not. Others may become irritable and angry. Some isolate themselves, and others cannot stand to be alone. Some individuals going through a divorce may feel a sense of relief while others a sense of dread. Know that it is normal for your emotions to fluctuate or be unpredictable.
Another strategy of getting through a painful divorce is to enlist the help of others. Spend time with friends and family or consider joining a support group. Do not be afraid to ask for help if you need it. Some people want to seek help in times of trouble but are unsure how to find it. Be direct with what you need, and you will likely find sources of support and comfort.
Try Something New
Divorce and relationship experts also suggest that it is a good idea to keep yourself busy. Do something that is meaningful to you. Reconnect with old friends or start a new hobby. Explore your interests, or try to develop new ones. Have you always been athletic? Consider joining an adult sports league. Love to read? Join a book club. Getting out of the house can often be helpful in getting out of your head. If you try new things, you will have less time to dwell on the emotional pain of your divorce.
Although it is a little cliché, making a conscious effort to think more positively has been proven to help individuals have a more hopeful disposition. Remind yourself that the divorce will not last forever; it is only temporary. Comedian Louis CK says “Divorce is always good news. I know that sounds weird, but it’s true because no good marriage has ever ended in divorce.” Remember that you are getting divorced for a reason and that the future will be brighter than the past.
We Can Help
If you are going through a divorce, an experienced Kane County family law attorney can help reduce your stress by taking care of many of the details on your behalf. Contact our office today and schedule your free initial consultation. Call 630-377-7770 for an appointment.