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Rediscovering Yourself After Divorce

on in Divorce

divorce, Kane County divorce attorneysA divorce is one of the most difficult things anyone will ever be forced to endure. Some mental health professionals even go so far as to suggest that the pain of divorce rivals that of the death of a loved one. In the aftermath of your divorce, it is understandable that you may feel angry, betrayed, lonely, and, in many ways, unsatisfied with your life. Fortunately, however, divorce can also offer a new beginning and a fresh start for those who were trapped in an unhealthy or toxic marriage.

Starting Over

Depending upon how long you were married, you may feel like you have lost the sense of who you are as an individual. During your marriage, ideally, you were part of a team, with you and your spouse making important decisions together. Even if you maintained separate hobbies and interests—as marriage experts recommend—there is a good chance your identity became intertwined with that of your spouse and the marriage. Once the marriage has ended, you may need to reestablish yourself as an individual and take charge of your own life again.

Let Go and Move Forward

One of the most important things you can do in the wake of your divorce is to learn to let the bitterness and regrets go. It will take some time, but it also may take a conscious effort to stop worrying about what might have been and to start focusing on what could be. Recognize that you do not need to be defined by your marriage or divorce and do not let the residual pain and anger control you. Work on forgiving yourself and your ex-spouse, and turn your attention to things that make you happy.

Find a Hobby and Make Friends

If you find yourself sitting at home, alone and brooding after your divorce, it will be difficult to feel happy again. Though it may be uncomfortable at first, get involved in a hobby or activity that you have always thought about doing. Join a hiking group, play a recreational sport, or become more active in your church or other community organization. Chances are good that you will quickly meet new people with experiences similar to yours. Making new friends after your divorce is very healthy and will help you establish your identity as an individual.

Consider Casual Dating

While you may not be in the best state of mind to enter a new long-term relationship, going on a date every now and then can be beneficial and therapeutic. Be honest with yourself about whether you are ready or not, but by getting out and having fun, you are likely to feel validated, energized, and a renewed sense of attractiveness that may have been somewhat lost in your marriage.

Starting the Process

A healthy post-divorce life begins with completing the process of divorce efficiently and without undue stress. Contact an experienced divorce lawyer in St. Charles today. Call 630-377-7770 and learn more about how we can help you reclaim your identity and get back on your feet again.


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