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Posted on in Children

co-parenting, St. Charles family lawyersIf you are considering divorcing your spouse and you are a parent, you are probably worried how you will raise your child after the divorce. If you and your spouse plan to share parental responsibilities, as is recommended by courts when it is in the best interest of the child, you will have to find a way to effective co-parent with your soon-to-be-ex-spouse. This can be much more difficult than it looks. While it is up to you to find the specific co-parenting arrangement that works for your unique circumstances, there are some guidelines which can help you overcome some of the struggles of parenting your child with an ex-spouse.

Make a Specific Parenting Agreement

If you have a cooperative spouse, it is much better to make parenting decisions together rather than forcing the court to allocate parental responsibilities, previously called child custody. In the parenting agreement, or parenting plan, make sure to include joint decisions regarding:

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technology, St. Charles family law attorneyIn a previous post on this blog, we talked about the importance of keeping both parents active in a child’s life. Sharing custody of your children with an ex, however, can be complicated and stressful. Fortunately, in the digital age, help exists in the form of apps and websites which can help you align schedules, plan, organize and stay on the same page as your ex-spouse.

Scheduling Apps

Every family is different and what works for some may not work for others. If you are a person who uses technology to organize your life, you may benefit from apps such as:

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Posted on in Divorce

holiday, Kane County family law attorneysFor families affected by divorce or contentious child custody proceedings, the holidays are often particularly difficult. Scheduling parenting time and holiday celebrations, of course, can be a challenge for divorced parents, but the real struggle is often internal. A divorce or child-related legal matter can leave you feeling angry, hurt, and lonely, especially amidst the joy of family gathered together for Christmas, Hanukkah, and other winter holiday festivities. In the spirit of the holiday season, there some steps you can take that may allow the healing process to begin and open the door to a happier future.

Forgive Yourself

If you are like most people who have experienced a divorce, you probably feel a certain measure of guilt about your situation. We tend to place a great deal of pressure on ourselves regarding our relationships, and when they breakdown, we often blame ourselves for the “failure.” It is, however, very rare for a marriage to break down due to the actions or behavior of just one spouse. Both partners usually can claim some responsibility.

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Posted on in Children

holiday, Kane County divorce attorneyThe winter holiday season, for many families, begins with the celebration of Thanksgiving and continues through the month of December into the beginning of January. While the holidays are often filled with fun, food, and extended family, they can be particularly challenging for divorced parents as they try to keep their children involved in all of the festivities. If you share parenting responsibilities of your child with your former partner, there are some things that you can do to help make the winter holidays more enjoyable for everyone involved.

Be Prepared

If your parenting plan does not already specify where your child will spend each holiday, you will need to make arrangements with the other parent as soon as possible. Do not wait until the very last minute. Give your child something to look forward to, and provide enough lead time for you and the other parent to plan for the holiday accordingly.

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Posted on in Children

co-parenting, Kane County family lawyersDivorce does not just affect you and your spouse. It also has a significant impact on your children. What used to be one home now becomes two. They may have to change schools, make new friends, and will rarely spend time with both parents at the same time. Holidays, birthdays, and even soccer games are going to be different. Of course, children can and do adjust. How well they do so is often reliant upon how well their parents get along once the divorce process is complete. This is why all parents should work exceedingly hard at successfully co-parenting during and after their divorce.

Stay Focused on What Is Important

It is easy to get caught up in the swirling emotions of divorce. Your anger, bitterness, or sadness may cause you to fight for things that might not otherwise matter. Alternatively, you may give up things that are important, just to get the process completed. Neither will serve you or your child in divorce. You deserve time with your child, as does your spouse. The little things you are arguing over may not matter in a few years. So, rather than argue over the details, try to keep your focus centered on your child. Know when the fight is worth the effort, and when it is better to just let go.

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